Chapter 57 – Old Enemies

It took about an hour for Faustus to return. There was a soft knock on the front door a few times.

Valentina stood up, went to the front door, and pressed her ear against the wood. “It’s me,” said Faustus’ muffled voice from outside.

She opened the door, let him in, looked around again, and then locked it. Faustus looked even more exhausted than before, which she would hardly have thought even possible. He was carrying a bundle under his arm.

“Your things from his bedroom,” he said, setting the bundle on the chest in the hallway. “A dress, stockings, and a thin underdress… I hope I didn’t forget anything. I also cleared the dishes and such from the table and took them to the kitchen. It looks now as if he had dinner alone and then… well.”

“And the body?”

“It’s lying on the bed. The ring halves are next to him, and I hung his coat over the chair and put his boots by the door.” Faustus ran his hand through his shaggy beard.

“What about his protected rooms?”

“I didn’t go near them. I took a look, but the protective patterns on the doors are so dense and layered that I didn’t dare open them. I’m sorry.”

Valentina nodded slowly, but she wasn’t angry with him for it. Trying to get in there was probably just as much of a risk as not doing it, after all.

“I don’t think he left anything incriminating about us in there anyway,” she said finally. “But we can’t be sure.”

“No,” Faustus agreed. “I guess we can’t.”

For a moment, they stood facing each other in the dim candlelight of the kitchen and said nothing.

Valentina looked at him. The Faustus Boarfend she had known from almost her first day at the university had been a bloated, spoiled nobleman’s son, broad-shouldered, yes, but soft. The man standing before her now seemed much tougher, like a house dog that went feral after spending too much time in the woods. His hands, once aristocratically smooth, were now rough and cracked, and his fingernails were bitten short yet still dirty.

She pointed to the kitchen chair. “Sit down, I’ve got something to eat for you.”

Faustus willingly sank into the chair, and Valentina brought him half a loaf of yesterday’s bread, butter, a wedge of hard cheese, and a few slices of cured ham, and poured him a jug of wine.

Faustus devoured the food greedily, tearing off pieces of bread and shoving them into his mouth along with large chunks of cheese, and he drank the wine in long, greedy gulps.

Valentina sat across from him, watching him and struggling with the sheer absurdity of Faustus Boarfend eating bread and cheese in her kitchen in the middle of the night, after he had just disposed of a corpse for her.

“Who would have thought,” Vyxara remarked mockingly in her head.

Once his worst hunger had been satisfied and Faustus slowed his pace, he leaned back and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“The Distilled Essence you gave me that night when you rescued me from the dungeon saved my life,” he said. “I fled south, through the Scorched Lands. It was… no pleasure. But I reached the coast and found a fisherman that was willing to help me cross the sea.”

“To Clairmontine?”

“Yes. I took on a false name there and started getting by with a bit of Essence Weaving. I found work with people who don’t ask stupid questions and don’t care where you’re from or that you speak the language poorly.” He snorted softly. “It sounds better than it was when I put it that way. It was unpleasant and dangerous most of the time, and I did what I was told, and the less we talk about it, the better, honestly.”

“What kind of people were they?” Valentina asked.

“Smugglers, mostly, but also counterfeiters and the like. Every now and then a few guys who deal in artifacts and Distilled Essence on the black market.” Faustus paused and took another sip of wine. “I learned a lot doing that. It happens whether you want it to or not. Even illegal deals are business at the end of the day, and eventually you get a feel for how things work.”

“Let me guess… at some point you heard about the Eye of Deceit.”

Faustus looked at her in surprise. “How do you know that?”

“I didn’t know that. But I’m guessing you didn’t come back to Bridgewater because you missed me so much. Never mind. Go on.”

He hesitated briefly and then continued. “Yes, there were some persistent rumors after what… what happened, and that the Eye of Deceit had been stolen from the Illumination. It was clear to me that it had to have been you. And there was someone out there willing to throw around really big sums of money to find it. They were looking for people to search for it on their behalf.” He looked her straight in the eyes. “And I feared that the trail would inevitably lead from Gladder to me, and if they couldn’t find me, they’d try to figure out who freed me from the dungeon or had anything to do with me.”

“Exactly the path Johann took,” said Vyxara.

“So you came back because of me after all?” Valentina asked, surprised.

A snort escaped Faustus, sounding half like laughter and half like self-contempt. “Maybe. Yeah. Partly. To… I didn’t want anything to happen to you, but…” A brief flicker of his old self-confidence, which died out immediately. “I also wanted to steal the Eye of Deceit if the opportunity arose.”

“At least you’re honest.”

“There isn’t much left that lying could improve.” He ate the last bite of cheese.

“But there was something else.” He stared at the tabletop. “I… I couldn’t stand being in anyone’s debt. In your debt, I mean. It was eating me up. I… you didn’t have to free me and any reason not to, but you did it anyway.”

“And that’s why you’ve been following me around for weeks? To repay that debt?” Valentina said.

He nodded. “I observed your routines and waited for an opportunity to steal the eye. Tonight I saw you leave the house and decided it was now or never. I climbed over the wall and went in through the back door, then found the hiding place under the floorboards and broke the protective patterns.” He gave a crooked smile. “I’ve fiddled with the Eye of Deceit long enough myself to know a thing or two about demonic patterns. But it took forever, and Innogen almost got in while I was still inside.”

“Why didn’t you run away after that? Why did you come back?”

“I told you. I had no intention of just running away. I just wanted to make sure the people after the Eye didn’t hurt you.”

“That’s certainly not the whole truth,” Vyxara said. “He’s at least as obsessed with you as he is with the Eye. He wanted to stay close to you and watch you.”

Faustus turned the cup in his hands. “And then I saw that guy and you walking down Pinfeather Lane in the middle of the night, and something wasn’t right, the way he was holding you, and then I saw that you were, um, well, you were naked under your cloak. So I crept closer to the house again. And then I heard your screams of pain and went inside.”

“Thanks for that. I’m not sure we would have survived if you hadn’t come.”

Faustus waved his hand dismissively without looking at her. For a while, he just stared at the table. Then he lifted his head and looked her in the eyes, with an expression as if he had to force himself to do so.

“There’s something else I want to talk about.”

Valentina knew what was coming. But she said nothing, just waited. She wasn’t going to make it any easier for him.

“Lily,” said Faustus.

She merely raised an eyebrow.

“I figured it out. It took an embarrassingly long time, you know, I’m not the brightest, I know that by now, but eventually the penny dropped.” He spoke cautiously, as if walking on thin ice. “When you freed me from the dungeon, you weren’t wearing one of those illusion necklaces, that… that just suddenly dawned on me one day. So you couldn’t have been Lily disguised as Valentina. But why would Valentina, the real Valentina, save me of all people? And you weren’t surprised at all that I mistook you for Lily. You acted exactly like Lily. You knew things only Lily could know.”

He paused briefly and waited, but she still said nothing.

“The only explanation left was that the Lily I visited at Violet Delights, the woman I paid to turn into you so I could… fuck you…” He almost choked on the word. “…that this woman was the real Valentina all along. That you were playing Lily the whole time, who was playing Valentina for me.”

Valentina didn’t deny it. She looked him calmly in the eyes and still waited.

“You’re really making him sweat right now.”

“He’s earned it, Vyxara.”

“No objection from me, I’m having a grand time.”

Faustus swallowed and squirmed visibly. It was obviously costing him everything he had.

“That means every session at Violet Delights and everything… everything I did there… I was brutal.” His voice grew thinner. “You saw everything. The real Valentina saw everything.” He clenched his fists on the table. “How pathetic I am and how needy and how… how mean I was. You saw everything. And you saved me from the dungeon anyway.”

Valentina remained silent.

“And I remembered the advice,” he continued, visibly struggling with himself, “that Lily gave me back then. That I should go to Valentina and just ask her for forgiveness. That it wasn’t too late for that. And how I said, no, that I’d done and said things that can’t be taken back.”

He laughed briefly and a little maniacally.

“It was you all along who told me to come to you to apologize. You offered me a way out, and I was too proud to take it.”

They were silent for quite a while.

“I’m not proud anymore,” Faustus said quietly. “There’s nothing left of my pride. What would I even be proud of, after realizing that the woman I tormented at the university, the woman in the brothel I fell in love with, and the woman who saved my life are one and the same person. You have looked down to the bottom of my soul. You have seen everything that is there, and there was nothing but wretchedness.”

“It seems to me there’s still room for a little self-pity.”

“Give him a moment, Vyxara, I think he needed that intro. I doubt he has much experience in telling someone he’s sorry.”

“I’m not asking for your forgiveness, because I haven’t earned it,” Faustus continued. “I’m just telling you that I’m sorry and that I’m more ashamed than I could ever put into words.”

She couldn’t pretend nothing had happened. She had endured his mockery, his brutality, his fantasies, and his hatred made flesh. The memories of it were ugly and felt like a toxic bundle of rage and disgust, and they would likely always remain so.

But she also couldn’t pretend he was still the same person who had done those things. The man sitting in her kitchen, waiting for an answer he didn’t believe he deserved, was broken and humiliated. He was no longer the Faustus who had done those things, for that man would not have been able to see himself so clearly or acknowledge the pitiful sight he presented without embellishment. He had become someone else. Life had worn him down to the bone, and even if he managed to regain some substance, he would never again be the person he once was.

“I can’t just forget what you did,” Valentina said. “And I won’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

Faustus flinched, but nodded as if he hadn’t expected anything else.

“But I’ve decided to make my peace with it and look ahead. It does neither you nor me any good to keep carrying that burden around.”

Faustus’ shoulders slumped, and he let out a long, shaky breath.

“I love how pragmatic you are,” Vyxara said in her head. “This secures you the loyalty of someone who is completely committed to you, admittedly in a weird way. But he will have to keep your secrets out of sheer self-interest.”

“Thank you, Valentina, I-“

“Let’s not talk about this anymore.”

Faustus nodded. “Good. I mean… good. Your secrets are safe with me, as long as mine are safe with you, I promise you that.”

“Agreed,” said Valentina without hesitation.

Faustus nodded again, then reached into the inner pocket of his tattered cloak and pulled out the Eye of Deceit.

“It still fascinates me, you know,” Faustus said with some uncertainty in his voice, examining the cube. There was a hunger in his eyes that reminded Valentina of a much darker version of himself. “It has a pull that just never stops. Ever since I took it from your hiding place tonight, I can literally hear it whispering.”

“To be honest, that’s not a good sign, Faustus.”

“I know… I remember the paranoia and the distortions, everything that got out of hand back then in my second year. The Eye almost destroyed me.” He placed the cube on the table between them. “Keep it. You seem to be able to handle it better than I ever could, and to be honest, I’m afraid it would consume me all over again.”

Valentina carefully picked up the bronze cube from the table. He was right, of course. She did indeed handle it better. But Faustus didn’t know why, he knew nothing of Vyxara, nothing of the guidance and protection the demon gave her while working with the Eye.

“I believe he will keep your secrets, but that doesn’t mean you should entrust him with all of them,” Vyxara said in Valentina’s mind.

“Of course not,” she answered Vyxara.

Valentina slipped the Eye of Deceit into the pocket of her dress.

“Thank you,” she said. “What are your plans now? You shouldn’t stay in Bridgewater.”

Faustus shook his head. “By all the flames of the Martyr, no. I think the Illumination will turn the whole town upside down as soon as they find the body, and all it takes is one Bridgewater student recognizing me despite my beard and bald head.” He scratched his beard. “But there’s no way I’m going back to Clairmontine, that’s become clear to me now that I’ve been back here for a while. The language there is awful, the people are strange, and whoever hired that guy probably has better connections there than here. I don’t want anything to do with them.”

“Where do you plan to go, then?”

“Somewhere out in the countryside here in Sommerland. There must be a few villages where nobody asks too many questions as long as you can work hard and don’t draw attention to yourself.” A hint of sarcasm flitted across his face. “I’ve had a bit of practice at working hard by now.”

Valentina stood up, went into the hallway to the chest, and came back with a leather pouch. She counted out a few coins, enough for several weeks of modest living, and slid them over to him. Then she took out two small vials of Distilled Essence and set them down beside them.

“Not a fortune,” she said, “but enough to start over somewhere.”

Faustus was surprised and taken aback. “Valentina, you don’t-“

“Just take it.”

He swallowed, then nodded and stuffed everything into the inner pocket of his tattered cloak.

“As soon as you’ve found shelter somewhere,” said Valentina, “please send me a way to reach you. Letters addressed to Valentina of Palewood at the Duke of Duskenshire’s residence in Dusktown will likely reach me, but I wouldn’t write anything incriminating in them if I were you.”

“I’ll do that, I promise.”

They walked together to the front door. When Valentina opened it, the cold, damp air of the morning dew poured in, and in the east, dawn was already breaking over the rooftops.

Faustus pulled his hood over his shaved head, looked down the street in both directions, and stepped out into the cold twilight. Then he turned around one last time.

“Please give Lily my love,” he said.

Before Valentina could reply, he was already on his way, and his dark silhouette disappeared into the side alley. Behind him, Valentina locked the door and turned the key.

“You should go to bed now. You can barely stand on your feet,” Vyxara remarked.

Valentina was too tired to argue. She blew out the last candle in the kitchen, climbed the stairs, and slipped carefully under the covers next to Innogen, who stirred slightly in her sleep but, thankfully, didn’t wake up.

Valentina put her arm around her, felt Innogen’s warmth against her body, and closed her eyes.

And she was already a little afraid of the conversation she owed Innogen tomorrow.